Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she smelled like a LAN party
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
