I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
