i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
