I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
