I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
