Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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