I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Randomize
