i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he thought i was a dude.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
