I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
