My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
