I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
