her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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