I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
