Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We need to get me chipped asap
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