scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
