the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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