No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
