Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
