i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
