grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
