It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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