I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
