fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
