I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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