I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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