I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
