Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can you bring me the toilet please
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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