Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
