i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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