True but thats because hes a fetus.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
