Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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