This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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