actually, I'm a sock model
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
