bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
