I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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