lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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