True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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