but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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