Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
