Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
