i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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