I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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