Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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