And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Randomize
