Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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