i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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