So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
