some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
