.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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