Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
