$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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