He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
