My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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